Get Your Drunk Ass off The Carosel

Tonight’s blog is completely random.  Remember I said the Pink Book Diaries were totally random and mostly useless information?  Well here is a perfect example.  My brain was mostly fried today, and I kept trying to think of a blog topic and couldn’t, so I was planning on skipping it.  Until……..

It all started with a joke:  (Brittney told this joke tonight when I picked up the kids……..)  Your in a jeep, ahead of you is a horse, on your left is a giraffe, on your right is a big 4 ft ditch and there’s a rhinoceros coming up behind you what do you do?  (Here’s the whole family at Foster’s thinking hard on what do you do………. We give)  Answer:  you get your drunk ass off the Carosel and go home.

By the way for anyone not “in the know” I call my mom’s house Foster’s as in Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends (a cartoon about a group home for imaginary friends without owners — see Cartoon Nework for more).

So more along the lines of “you get your drunk ass off the carosel……”  Tonight Cathy got a call from a man requesting a Catholic Officer.  Cathy replied that she wasn’t certain on the religion of any of the officers but offered her help.  She could he said……… he wanted someone to recieve his prayer that he needed to give.  So Cathy, always up for a good prayer or two, told him to go right ahead.  This prayer, he told her, was for all the deer that are in his housing addition because he’s afraid for them:  Dear God, please bless all the deer and living creatures in our neighborhood and let them find food and water and life, in Jesus name we pray – AMEN.  And while it was a good prayer and all……. we still have NO CLUE as to why he felt the need to share his prayer with a Catholic Police Officer.  Sadly I think he had confused DEER and BEER just one too many times tonight.  That’s all he needed……. just wanted us to hear his Deer Prayer.  911 Operator Tip #245:  If you are drunk and drunk dialing, do not drunk dial the Police Department requsting a Deer Prayer Vigil!  911 Operators DO NOT have any direct line to God — although with the number of times you hear God and Jesus’s names in the dispatch center I can see where you might think we are on a first name basis with the BIG GUY.

Which leads me into my next topic:  I still haven’t recieved any feedback from my suggestion at work to have Prozac dispensers installed.  Yes….. I really requested it.  I even suggested that they could be as simple as little Pez dispensers at each station.

So back to life at Fosters…..Jacque decided to tell us about Charlie McDonald’s plans to have a weekly fish fry at his restaurant in Acton, but instead called him Old McDonald which lead to me singing “Old McDonald had a farm and on this farm he had a fish.”  Teagan then changed it to “Old McDonald had a fish farm.”  And you guys wonder where I get the ideas for children’s books…….

More Teaganisms…….. tonight she got Baaahhbie’s from Mimmie (well actually Sara).  It’s not Barbie, it’s Baaahhbie. It’s like I have a little Austraillian Jackaroo for child.  She likes Staaaahs (stars) in the sky, and the Baaahhn Paahhk (Barn Park).  And thank God Dave taught her how to do “Hollywood Kisses” – where you touch your cheek to the other person’s cheek and make a kissing noise and then say “Luv you Dahhhling!”  She also likes to listen to “Hip-Rap” music with “B”.

Oh yeah which brings me back to beer…… a really popular theme in my rambling tonight.  On the way home from the ball diamond tonight Dawson and Teagan asked “B” to turn up Grandma Jr’s song.  What was the magical tune that my children think should be Grandma Jr’s song?  Kenny Chesney’s “Have another beer in Mexico.”  I know mom likes Corona and all but I’m pretty sure she’s never been to Mexico. 

Odd names for today: Starra Sky (yes that’s on her drivers license) and Nobel Peeples (a kid a YMCA camp).  And just for fun we had Teagan say her friend – Claudia Wadlington’s – name (Cwaaahdia Wallwington).

Well I think I will wrap this one up for now…… please remember to say a prayer for all the poor deer in need tonight before you go to bed.  Also keep in mind that Catholic Police Officers are not a suitable replacement for a Priest when you need to hold an all night Deer Prayer Vigil (and well pretty much it’s not a good idea to confuse a Police Officer with a Priest at any time).

Try to remember……. Keep your drunk ass off the carosel……. words to live by.

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