Teagan has all kinds of toys. She has “Littlest Pet Shop” and “Polly Pockets” and “Little People” and of course “Baahbies.” So when I left for work today — what do you think she was playing with? ROCKS. She had gotten 5 rocks out of the front landscaping (the good part we still have, not the explosion of dirt, rotting railroad ties, dead shrubs and a hole that make up the “moat”) and was playing Family with them. The two bigger rocks were mom and dad and then the three smaller rocks were the kids. And she was sitting there in the kitchen just playing away; having conversations like she would if she was holding her Polly Pockets or Little People. “Hewwwo mommy how was your day at work.” the little rock asked one of the bigger rocks “About the same daughter.” the bigger rock answered. This should serve as a warning to “B” about vacation — she can play Family with just about anything she finds: rocks, fingers, twigs, peanuts. Face it “B” you’re going to have play Family while we’re in Myrtle Beach.
And while we’re on the topic of Myrtle Beach….. (“B” might just kill me) today I found beach towels with games on them. Twister and checkers!! Doesn’t that sound exciting? They were on sale at Kohls and they looked so cute in the store — of course what isn’t on sale at Kohls? And then on top of everything being on sale they keep sending coupons for 20% off or $10 off….. it’s a vicious cycle. ANYWAY…. they had these beach towels with game boards printed on them and they come with a mesh bag to hold the game pieces. And as I was checking out I had 2 thoughts A) “B” is going to kill me and B) “B” should be thankful I got Twister and Checkers because they also had Candyland, Tic Tac Toe and Hopscotch. I could see having to play 85 rounds of Candyland on the beach. But then as I got to the car I realized Twister might not have been the best option either. I really don’t see anyone on the beach appreciating me attempting to play Twister in my swim suit. I mean lets face it we’ve all played Twister — no matter what foot/hand combination you get your ass is always up in the air. It doesn’t matter if it’s left hand green, right foot blue — you’re always all tangled up and your ass ends up in air. You’re never in a flattering position while playing Twister and now add in a bathing suit….. oh sure back in the day when I could still wear a bikini I’m sure it would be a different story – but the post 2 babies 35 year old in the “Trimshaper Tankini” just isn’t attactive . Yes the “Trimshaper Tankini” (or as my friend calls them a Mom’s Bikini) – for anyone who isn’t clear that is a desperate attempt by women over 35 to still say they are wearing a two-piece. Nevermind that you could make five Size 2 bikini’s out of the one Size ## Tankini or that the Trimshaper material requires a shoehorn to shimmy into it – by God in the world of fashion you’re still wearing a two piece.
Maybe Twister will get returned for Hopscotch…. that sounds like a much better plan.
Teagan should find plenty of things to play Family with at the beach: shells…..shells…… yeah ok so there isn’t a whole more at the beach. Maybe she could build little sand people, hopefully she won’t try to make a crab family!