Jesus Saves and Pink Elephants on tightropes

I realize I’ve been negligent in my blogging lately.  Busy, busy, busy…  I’ve had lot’s to do to get ready for the upcoming vacation so not a lot of time to blog.

Several topics have passed by my mind though.  “Does playing co-ed recreational softball raise male testosterone levels?”  “The ups and downs of Little League baseball.”  “The ridiculous price of gas and how it goes up and down more than a carosel.”  “Family vacations, do they cause more stress than they offer relaxation?”

All of these are great topics for disscussion but I decided just to write about some things I’ve observed today that just made me laugh.  When I was in high school we used to have a column in The Smoke Signals newspaper called ODD OBSERVATIONS.  Here are some prime examples.

One of our dispatchers is injured right now and she came in today to give her Doctor’s excuse to the supervisor.  She said that while she was in the doctors office he has some little “Factoid’s” to keep people occupied while they wait.  One of them said, “Ancient Roman’s used to train elephants to walk on tight ropes.”  She asked her doctor “How did they get the elephants up the tiny little ladders?”  That is the perfect example of a 911 dispatcher and why we can’t live in the real world.  Because now I’m wondering, how the hell did they get them up the ladder?  And furthermore where in ancient rome did they have rope strong enough to hold an elephant?  Of course, the dispatcher is on vicoden now, so she might be seeing Pink Elephants ……

There was a tree service cutting down really large old trees at the corner of Meridian St and Main St today.  For the life of me now I can’t remember the name of the tree service, but in huge 3ft. letters under the tree service name was “JESUS SAVES.”  Here again we go with the 911 dispatcher humor, because all I could think of as they were hurling large chunks of wood that used to be a 60 year old tree into the chipper was “Jesus saves, He just doesn’t save the trees.”

On my way back from getting Chinese Food for dinner (a whole other topic of conversation – ever wonder why there are 125 menu items on the menu?) I got behind a Harley rider.  He was chugging along at a blistering 20mph and I’m thinking to myself, people buy Harley’s to go fast and make loud noise with their mufflers, why is he going 20mph.  Then I caught on that he was lost.  And I thought to myself, that seems like it should be a country song, “Lost on my Harley.”  If I had any musical talent I’d take that to Nashville and become a millionaire.  Even better, “Lost on my Harley in Greenwood.”  Does anyone have the number to Mongomery Gentry?

Ok, real quick with regard to the Chinese Food.  Always get a dish with shrimp in it because it’s really hard to make kitty cat look like shrimp.

Well that’s all, if I find any time tomorrow, I blog before we start vacation! 


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