There’s the obvious Christmas movies like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Miracle on 34th St,” and “Christmas Vacation.” But here’s the thing, there are other movies that you can’t find unless it’s Christmas, either on DVD or on the TV. Movies like “Your’s, Mine and Our’s,” (the original with Lucille Ball & Henry Fonda) and “The Sound of Music.” Let’s just look at “The Sound of Music for an example. If you can find a copy of “The Sound of Music” in July, buyit…. More than likely it will be in the $9.99 bin. If you try to buy it at Christmas time it is a standard $19.99 with some places charging as much as $24.99. Why? All because Julie Andrews sings “Raindrops on Roses” which has somehow found it’s way onto the Holiday Music Hit’s CD so now the whole movie which has nothing to do with Christmas gets the priced jacked up for Christmas.
Perfume made by Prince Matchabelli. More specifically……. “Windsong” This perfume first appeared in 1926 and was really made by a Georgian prince (Georgia – the country between Russia and Turkey). He would probably be really sad to know you can now purchase his “royal” perfume at any drugstore for $9.99.
Ok while I’m on the perfume kick, let’s move to cologne. The one that stands out most in my mind is “Stetson.” I’m sure you can find it during the year, but at Christmas is always stuck out on an end-cap at Walgreens. I was going to give props to the marketing department at Coty since I thought that Matthew McConnaughey was the Stetson Man. He was old news….. he was last years Stetson Man and they replaced him with Tom Brady! Granted Tom Brady is an attractive man (ok I’d even go very attractive man) but he’s a QUARTERBACK! And he’s not even a Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback!! What on Earth does a New England Patriot know about being a Stetson Man? Even Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal would have been better picks than Tom Brady! C’mon!!
Ribbon Candy. I loved ribbon candy as a kid and my grandma would always have plenty of it. It’s hard to find in stores anymore. Mostly only found in specialty candy stores and online candy stores.
Fruitcake. You would think bakers of fruitcakes would give up as the fruitcake has become the late night comic’s standard Christmas gift giving joke. However the fruitcake business is actually a multi million dollar affair for several bakeries in Texas and New Orleans. It seems that people still buy and give fruitcakes as much as they ever have. Of course the people of Manitou Springs, CO have found a way to recycle their fruitcakes. In January they hold an annual “Fruitcake Toss” where people compete to see how far they can toss the brick like bread.
5 Golden Rings………. (Oh wait, wrong list)
Candy Canes. Everyone loves candy canes and their red and white striping has even become a theme of Christmas – seen on wrapping paper, ornaments and cards. Candy canes have evolved with the times and now come in an assortment of flavors and colors. Candy Canes are the best Christmas treat because they are not only edible and sweet but also are used as functional as decorations. Candy Cane makers need to figure out a way to wedge themselves into other holidays like maybe Valentines Day. I only say this because suddenly Peeps is moving in on Christmas. Now you can buy Peeps in the shape of Snowmen and Christmas trees when they used to only be a staple at Easter in the form of Pink and Yellow Chicks and Bunnies. We need to lobby for heart shaped Candy Canes!
The annual holiday newsletter you receive from your college roommate. Why is it people who you don’t speak to more than once or twice a year feel the need to send out a 3 page update on themselves, their children and their pets? Why can’t they just buy some Hallmark cards, have their pictures taken at Olan Mills in their matching red and green sweaters and do what everyone else in America does? David Sedaris is the author of my favorite newsletter, “Season’s Greetings to Our Friends and Family” in his book Holidays on Ice. I imagine my disdain for newsletters comes largely in part from trying to sit down and write one for our family this year which could be a script for a Lifetime movie. It reads a lot like a book I liked when I was little called “Fortunately/Unfortunately” (i.e. Fortunately we got tickets to the Daytona 500, Unfortunately Teagan had appendicitis and we couldn’t go……I’ll stop there for the squeamish and overemotional).
The Clapper. Ever since the mid 80’s we have seen the old lady in the bed roll over and clap her hands to turn off her TV and lights to the zippy jingle of “Clap On…. Clap Off… Clap On Clap Off…..The Clapper.” Has anyone ever actually purchased a clapper?? Obviously people have or else why would they still be marketing them 20 years after they were invented? I think their lasting popularity relies solely on that jingle….. it hasn’t changed in nearly 20 years (actually I don’t think the commercial has even changed in 20 years). It’s droning in your head now as you read this isn’t it? Clap on….. Clap off…..c’mon sing it with me. One day I actually see it on a CD of the “Greatest Christmas Jingles.”
And the number one thing you will only see during Christmas (Drum roll please……….) The Chia pet! It exploded onto the Christmas scene in 1982 with the Ram. “It’s the pottery that grows.” Chia is also one that owes it’s longevity to its catchy jingle… “Ch-ch-ch-chia!” Although sadly it appears there is a decreasing demand for these easy to care for potted plants, reducing them to the term “FAD.” But they have had quite a run. It all started with the Ram, but has grown to include a whole zoo full of blooming pottery pets and now even has licensed characters like Homer Simpson, Shrek and Scooby Doo. We had a Chia pet once when I was growing up. It didn’t seem like it lasted very long….about as long as it takes to sing “Ch-ch-ch-chia!”
Also considered for this list were black velvet pants (or any outfit containing velvet), eggnog (add enough Capt Morgan’s and you forget you’re drinking eggs) and poinsettias (a plant that requires temperatures to exceed 50 degrees and is poisonous – nothing says Merry Christmas like a plant that can kill you!) Any suggestions for next year’s list will be greatly appreciated! (By the way if I gave you a poinsettia this year, I really like you…. I really do)