Thanksgiving is…..

Thanksgiving is……..

I’ll start with the cutesy one’s first:

Kids writing things they are thankful for on construction paper “feathers” and gluing them to construction paper turkeys.  Kudos to Teagan’s OT who had her glue her feathers to a Native American headdress – we tend to forget our Indian friends this time of year in favor of turkey.  This year Teagan was thankful for her brother, her cousins, her house,  yummy mashed potatoes, spiders (???), mom & dad and school.  Whatever Dawson may or may not be thankful for we will never know, he either didn’t participate in the traditional construction paper feather event or he didn’t feel the need to bring his home.

Teachers coming up with creative spelling lists which always  include the word:  Cornucopia.  Seriously…. can you use the word in a sentence?  Did you know that the adjective forms of the word are cornucopiate and cornucopian?  (Cornucopiate and cornucopian set off the spell check!) The only time of year you will ever see or hear of a cornucopia is at Thanksgiving.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  By far my favorite of all the Peanuts holiday specials.  It is full of everything that is Thanksgiving.  It starts off with football and the lack of being able to kick one – a true Thanksgiving tradition.  There is an overbearing friend inviting herself and friends to dinner at your house.  A woeful soul already lamenting how holidays depress him while he is faced with the daunting task of cooking dinner.  A teacher assigning an essay about Stanley Miles (a.k.a. Miles Standish).  A dog dressed up like a pilgrim shooting a cork gun.  And the best part ever… eating Thanksgiving dinner prepared by a beagle consisting of toast, popcorn, ice cream sundaes and leftover Halloween candy on a ping-pong table and sitting in lawn chairs.  Charles Schultz was a GENIUS!!

moving on to the less cutesy:

All of the morning “news” shows spending the week before Thanksgiving demonstrating 22 new ways to cook a turkey.  So far this past week I have seen Martha Stewart cook a turkey and display her turkey with all the trimmings on a beautifully set table complete with a gilded turkey centerpiece.  I watched two relatively unknown food magazine editors have a debate over which is more important to Thanksgiving dinner, the turkey or the side dishes (Turkey…duh!).  Three different chefs super secret tip for cooking turkey – all three of them dipping cheesecloth in butter and covering the turkey with it. The interviews with the people who staff the 1-800 turkey hotline for Butterball.   And my personal favorite…. Tyler Florence’s last-minute side dishes.  Like on Thursday after you put the turkey in the oven you’re going to think “hmm… now what can I serve on the side?”  I was at the grocery store last night in people watching mode.. trust me no one needs a last-minute side dish idea.  They have lists…some of them had lists on top of lists, organized in three-ring binders complete with a map of the grocery store and an attack plan.  Although I did feel sorry for one poor little misguided family who was wandering aimlessly through the store without a cart, 2 kids in tow and the dad walking up to a cooler of turkeys saying “well these are already thawing should we get one?”  They might be the only people I know who would have benefited from the last-minute side dish ideas.

Hand in hand with demonstrating how to cook the best bird ever the morning shows then have their nutritionists come on and remind us that we are destined to eat nearly 5,000 calories on Thanksgiving.  They point out facts like we would have to run 26 miles to burn the calories eaten in a typical American Thanksgiving meal.  They offer ideas like Tofurkey and steamed veggies in place of a deep fried gobbler complete with every starch known to man like stuffing (or dressing depending on what region you are from), potatoes, sweet potatoes and noodles.  And their advice comes after last weeks attack on movie popcorn.  Thank you very much for the tips, but I will still be eating Turkey and all the sides and then I might even go to the movies and eat a jumbo bucket of popcorn with butter!

The traditional presidential pardoning of a turkey.  Other than the turkey who gets his life spared – who cares?  Does anyone else think that the President of the United States might have something more important to do than pardon one silly turkey when 1000’s more will be killed and stuffed and served up with all the trimmings?  And the best part about this is that the pardoned turkey, named Courage,  will be travelling to California to participate in the Rose Bowl Parade.  And in case Courage is unable to fulfill his duties there is a runner-up turkey named Carolina.  I guess in a Reality TV fueled America even Courage the turkey should have his 15 minutes of fame.

Does anyone else feel sorry for the rookie reporter who gets stuck at the airport covering the “Holiday Travel” story for the 6 o’clock news?  Yeah, me neither but that has got to be one boring job – unless of course there is some sort of epic weather event causing delays and mayhem.  As you can see by the lack of delays and mayhem, the Baughn’s aren’t travelling anywhere for Thanksgiving.

And finally…….. The 1000 lb Thanksgiving newspaper.  You may need a forklift to move the paper you receive on Thanksgiving.  Not because of the riveting news stories…. nope the actual paper is a mere 35 pages.  But stuffed in between these 35 pages are the infamous Black Friday advertisements.  Some stores have enough “Doorbuster Deals” that their flyer is the same size of a small catalog.  I have done the Black Friday shopping frenzy only a handful of times in my life and I have come to understand that saving $10 is not worth the trip the ER after being trampled by several hundred women all trying to buy the Black & Decker toaster oven which the store conveniently only has 3 in stock.

……… see me tomorrow for “Black Friday is……”  (keep in mind I will be at work in one of the largest retail areas in the greater Indianapolis area)

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