Christmas 2009 has come and (almost) gone and I have been thinking about things that are my favorites this time of year. A lot of bloggers have been doing this love/hate thing for the holidays or lists of their favorite songs and movies so I’m not sure how to do this and still be creative…..
OK best joke I heard on Christmas: 2 muffins were in the oven and one looked at the other and said “Wow! It’s hot in here!” and the other muffin said “Holy crap! A talking muffin.” Thanks to my niece Sara for that one.
Best movie to watch on Christmas: Christmas Vacation. My apologies to A Christmas Story and It’s A Wonderful Life, but I love Christmas Vacation. It’s one of the movies that my family quotes on a regular basis (at least during the holidays). The best line from the movie “I don’t know what to say, except, it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” I’m still laughing thinking about Cousin Eddie and the RV and well….. just about the whole movie can make you laugh. And if you’re interested in having an advent house like the one in the movie you can check them out here http://www.christmasadventhouse.com. Oh yeah did I mention they cost $995.00… and the moose mugs they drink eggnog from…those are $180 for 2.
Best Christmas Story: My apologies to Charles Dickens and Clement Clarke Moore but the best Christmas story is “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” by Dr. Seuss.
Best Christmas song: This one is hard. I really can’t pick just one. So the short list…. “All I want for Christmas is a real good tan” – Kenny Chesney, “My grown up Christmas List” – Kelly Clarkson, “Where are you Christmas” – Faith Hill, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” – the original by John Lennon (although I love the cover that Alicia Keys and Tim McGraw did on Oprah this month), “Mele Kalikimaka” – also the original by Bing Crosby and the Andrews sisters, “O Holy Night” – Martina McBride’s version and finally “Santa Baby” – which has been covered by every platinum blonde known to man. Better versions are by Madonna, Kellie Pickler, and the Pussycat Dolls featuring Carmen Electra (however that video is rated PG-13 or higher). I’m waiting, I’m sure Miley Cyrus will sing it soon enough – in red daisy dukes trimmed with fur and cowboy boots.
Worst Christmas song: OK not technically the worst Christmas song, but the one that has been covered by every recording artist known to man – “Last Christmas.” It has been played on the radio every 22.4 minutes by various artists such as Taylor Swift, Ashley Tisdale, Billie (yeah I don’t know who she is either) and even Crazy Frog. I didn’t realize until this blog that it was written by George Michael and originally performed by Wham! who ironically have the worst version of the song.
Best Chanukah song: Obviously “The Chanukah song” – Adam Sandler. This song will always make smile…and usually laugh for quite some time. The first version is the best, but 2 & 3 are funny too.
Best Reindeer: Vixen….or Blitzen… it’s a toss up. For those of you who need clarification on what a Vixen is – look up the Pussycat Dolls version of “Santa Baby” on You Tube (not the one with Snoop Dog, “Santa-bizzle” and “gangsta” aside, NBC made them dress nicely for the TV version).
The Wow and Damn moment of Christmas: There is a house on Acton Road with a 1970’s camper parked in front of it hooked up to about a 1982 Toyota pick up truck and it has Christmas lights dangling in all sorts of directions. Not sure if it’s a shout out to Christmas Vacation, a Charlie Brown statement against commercialism or just what they are living in until they remodel their house.
Oh….that reminds me Best Holiday Special: It’s Christmas Charlie Brown. I even have the soundtrack for it because I love to hear the song “Christmas Time is Here.” Hmm… need to add that song to the Christmas song list. The show also contains one of my favorite quotes – “Of all the people I know, you’re the Charlie Browniest” as said by Linus VanPelt. This also brings up Worst Christmas Moment 2009… I had gotten a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree in a white elephant gift exchange, which (because it’s a white elephant gift exchange) I subsequently lost to my neighbor’s mom. Since my gift got taken away, I was allowed to take another one away from someone else, so I took the package of T-bone Steaks away from our host. The steaks got taken away from me in the end too, by Dave’s Lieutenant, and I ended up with…. yeah I don’t remember.
Least Favorite Thing to do at Christmas Parties: White Elephant gift exchange. Don’t tell my neighbors who host our annual neighborhood party, but I’m not a big fan of the gift exchange. Half the people don’t bring “gag” gifts – or maybe they do and I just don’t get their sense of humor (i.e. the package of Tbone steaks). And… I really wanted that Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
Most Important Lesson Learned This Christmas: Do not play drinking games with your niece who recently graduated from college and your former Marine nephew. By the way…. I looked up Kings online and found some better “rules” and there was a whole twist to the game that we never played.
Best decorations: I love houses outlined in colored lights so it looks like a Gingerbread House. And I love houses decked out all in white lights. I like our real tree this year because it’s real, but our artificial one is bigger and brighter – when it lights up, which it didn’t this year- which is why we have the real tree. One Christmas-y thing I loved as a child and cannot find nowadays – there were tall frosted glass candles , the one I remember most had a picture of Mary and Baby Jesus on it and when you lit the candle you could see the image under the frosted glass. And I miss Nana’s white porcelain tree with the colored lights.
So these are some of my favorite things…. not all of them because I would bore you to death. So Merry Christmas from the girl who would rather be sitting somewhere beside a beach with a palm tree strung with white lights enjoying white sands for Christmas instead of white snow.