Bam hacked my computer and composed this holiday letter to his cousins, Sheeba, Colt, Buddy, Aussie and Bosanova. Bigger apologies should go to Aussie as Princess ate all Aussie’s cookies before they could be packaged. Oddly Bam forgets to mention this in his letter. Luckily Bam also forgot to mention the humiliation of wearing a reindeer costume this winter….. Hopefully next year they have located a better sous chef!
Dear Cousin Puppies,
Hope 2012 finds all of you well. We’d like to give a warm welcome to our newest cousin “Boss.” We hope you find this extended family as genuinely crazy and odd as we do. However coming from a bulldog puppy farm and the hardened streets of Indy like we both did we feel living within the craziness is the best for both of us so we just embrace it.
We apologize for the lateness of your gifts this year as our sous chef has once again disappointed us. We pointed out multiple times we needed the peanut butter cookies by Christmas Eve but she continued to put our request on the back burner until here we are a week after Christmas and the cookies are only now done. If she didn’t make such wonderful homemade peanut butter cookies we’d certainly fire her and look for a new one. She came up with the most grandiose excuses: working 12 hour shifts, shopping for the two kids, attempting to decorate the shamble of tree they brought in the house (which we cannot use as a bathroom or the drinking fountain – really?!?!?!) cleaning house, laundry, making cakes and other goodies to take to her human parties! Well despite the lateness we hope you truly enjoy the cookies!
Our year has been filled with mostly the same things as last year. Fighting over our Loofah toys, chasing, tails, barking at the neighbor dogs, eating two meals a day (PS why don’t we get lunch? Humans eat lunch….), Bam had a fairly successful weight loss attempt with the Green Bean Diet – although he doesn’t necessarily endorse it, and Princess learned how to chase a ball. Bam continues to keep a vigilant watch over the street, making sure to bark loudly anytime anything moves in front of the house. You would think the humans would appreciate this more. We spent a week in the kennel…..well you know what they say what happens in the kennel stays in the kennel. We want to go to the fancy kennel Sheeba went to next year, where they take pictures and post them on Facebook and give you extra love and playtime. Bam’s request for his own Facebook account has again been denied, but he’s still hopeful to create “Bambino Gene Baughn” soon. We’ll keep you updated!
Well cousin puppies, enjoy your cookies!!
Bam & Princess
PS… They just got the girl a bird…. A BIRD!!! In the house…. Can you believe it! And they expect us to not try to eat it. Not to mention the traumatic memories Bam still has after getting fluffed by the Blue Jay in our back yard. Sigh…… they will never learn………