How to Destroy the Easter Bunny & Ruin a Holiday

Spoiler Alert:  This blog contains graphic details about the existence of the Easter Bunny…. Only continue reading if you are over the age of 12 and if you are an adult you should only continue reading if you are not squeamish as this contains details of Peep massacre as well.

blamingyou_b

I effectively “ruined” Easter for my daughter.  Her words, not mine. 

But before I begin the story of how I ruined Easter I should back up a few weeks.  My daughter is ten, she’s in the fourth grade and she rides the school bus every day to school so my guess is she had been having doubts about the existence of the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy.  Add to that a few weeks ago my husband was arguing with my son over control of the Xbox and blurted “That’s why we got you one for your room.”  Bad mistake as the Xbox for his room had come from Santa.  Teagan then jumped out of her chair and said “You just admitted you ARE Santa!”  Some slick back talking somewhat seemed to pacify her, but I’m pretty sure she was just waiting on something like that to confirm her worst fears.

She then admitted that she knew her dad was the Tooth Fairy because she caught him one morning putting money under her pillow.  One mythical creature down, one in limbo and still clinging tobelief in the Easter Bunny.  That is until Easter morning.  Now on Good Friday the bulldog had found the Easter Bunny’s stash of candy and there was a massacre of Peeps in the living room but somehow this didn’t seem out of place to her.  She never asked where the Peeps had come from which would have been a logical question since there was no visible candy in the house Friday morning.  Side note:  blue sugar marshmallow dog slobber is disgusting and marshmallow Peep bulldog farts are lethal.

Easter morning – 5am – the scene of the crime.  I had to work and Dave was not home from the fire station yet.  I shut my alarm off, got up and was greeted by a puppy doing the potty dance so I went to let her out.  As I was opening the back door I heard the pitter-patter of little feet scampering behind me.  That was followed by crying and “The Easter Bunny didn’t come!”

Why are you awake?” I asked, hoping for a distraction, but I knew from Christmas when she followed me out to the living room at 2am she was just simply not going to make this easy on anyone.  She was crying and still rambling about the Easter Bunny not coming and the logical explanation would have been “The bunny just hasn’t been here yet.”  But as always when faced with a parenting decision I chose the wrong answer which was “It’s 5am and the Easter Bunny still has to take a shower before work.”

This was met with more tears and the accusation, “You just admitted you are the Easter Bunny.”  I shuffled her back to bed, assured her when she woke up there would be a basket full of candy but she had to go back to sleep.  Still sniffling she was dismayed “I can’t believe everyone lied to me.”  A few kind words from the otherwise evil creature known as MOM seemed to pacify her enough to go back to sleep.

Feeling guilty at work I wrote her this letter:

Dear Teagan,

I know you were disappointed this morning to find out that there is no Easter Bunny — at least not some mythical creature who hops around the world in one night hiding Easter eggs and candy for kids.  And I know recently you have been upset because you think that Dad and I are also Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.  The truth is…. neither Dad nor I are any of these people.

Dad and I are the people who leave money for lost teeth, fill Easter baskets full of candy, hide eggs, wrap presents at Christmas and fill stockings – just like our parents did for us when we were young.  And someday you will do for your family.

But leaving dollars for lost teeth, and candy at Easter and filling stockings on Christmas could never make either of us the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny or Santa.  Even though the Easter Bunny isn’t one person (or mythical creature) there is a little bit of Easter Bunny in everyone because we all keep the Easter Bunny in our hearts.  Same thing with Santa.  “Santa” is lots and lots of people who keep the spirit of Christmas alive in our hearts – not a jolly fat man at the North Pole.  Santa is the magic and love and spirit of giving to others.  You are probably the best “Santa” I know because you love doing things for other people and giving things to other people.  It’s important for kids to believe in something or someone that they can’t see or touch because it teaches them to believe in themselves.

Don’t stop believing just because you now know the secret about how Santa gets millions of toys delivered in one night and how the Easter Bunny hides millions of eggs and how the Tooth Fairy always knows when you lose a tooth.  Like I said Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy may not be one single person…. but they do exist….. in everyones hearts. 

I love you!

Mommy 

Even though she liked the letter I was still told in no uncertain terms that I ruined Easter.  I’m not sure how it was ruined as it didn’t stop her from the egg hunt or gobbling down pounds of chocolate.  I don’t remember this being so difficult with Dawson.  Actually he seemed somewhat excited – like I had just given him the key that unlocked the biggest mystery in the world. And now he was in on “the secret.”  No tears, no accusations of being lied to and no ‘ruining’ of a holiday for him.

So that is how you destroy the Easter Bunny and ruin Easter.

I’m still not sure how to describe the Bulldog Peep Massacre – other than it was just gross.  And I’m amazed he only got out the Peeps! Why he didn’t attack the peanut butter filled chocolate eggs or chocolate bunny ears I will never know.  Maybe he read on the package “Chocolate is not safe for dogs.”  Maybe he’s smarter than he looks — yeah no — I think we just caught him before he found the chocolate.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “How to Destroy the Easter Bunny & Ruin a Holiday

    • Thanks so much!! Glad I can entertain…. Would love to come see Alison and Augie but with baseball and soccer and soccer I seem to keep running out of time!! Hopefully we’ll make it over before they go back to Chicago.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s