So I have been collecting an odd assortment of items to discuss, none of them long enough to make an entire blog so here’s a bunch of random nonsense.  Enjoy!

shopping bags

When did it become acceptable etiquette to wear your pajamas in public?  At all times of the day or night?  I can’t remember where exactly we were but driving down a street at about 4pm we passed not one, not two but 3 individuals all wearing pajama bottoms while walking on the sidewalk.  It’s 4pm… I don’t care if you work night shift or just had surgery which should probably render you incapable of walking down the sidewalk put on a pair of pants, shorts, skirt, ANYTHING but your Betty Boop PJ pants.

Teagan informed me that Dawson is afraid of ostriches.  Luckily we don’t have any free roaming ostriches in suburbia.  When Dawson has ever been close to an ostrich I have no idea – other than at the zoo where they are at least 100 yards or more away.  Sadly the fear of ostriches doesn’t have a “phobia” name at this time as it so rare.  Dawson’s other known fear is Escalaphobia – fear of escalators – and it is fairly common.  Teagan has Astraphobia – fear of thunderstorms.

Back to questionable fashion sense. And I borrowed this from someone’s post on Facebook.  If your belly hangs over the front of your bikini bottoms – you need a one piece. You’re welcome!

Only in a country song can you get the words “can’t” and “ain’t” to rhyme.  But that is mostly dependent on the level of twang the singer has.

Also only in a country song can you hear the words “chew tobacco chew tobacco chew tobacco – spit.”

On the musical side of things — what is wrong with the radio stations in Ohio? Typically radio stations follow a “format.” You know like pop, rock, hard rock, classic rock, country…. Whatever. However every radio station we listened to in Ohio sounded like someone’s eclectic iPod set on shuffle. On one station we heard 80’s (Don’t You by Simple Minds), Pop (Starships by Nikki Minaj) and Classic Rock (China Grove by the Doobie Brothers) all on one station. Not necessarily complaining because that sounds like it could be my iPod, but it was just a little odd.

I live in a suburban area that is somewhat unique due to our geographical location – wedged between a fairly large metropolitan city and miles and miles of farmland.  I realized this the other night at a sporting event where I was amazed at the fact that the parents showing up were a mix between the Real Housewives of Chicago and Duck Dynasty (with a little bit of Honey Boo Boo here & there).   Yes there was a man dressed entirely in camouflage with a “Si” beard parking his 1984 rusted Chevy pick up right next to Barbie McSuburb driving her Lexus SUV trying carefully not to chip her manicure while balancing her kid’s soccer ball and her Coach purse but not once putting down her IPhone she was loudly talking on graphically describing to some poor soul on the other end the horrors of her recent mani/pedi.

Does anyone else crack up when you hear “Holly Holy” by Neil Diamond because you think of Kevin James and Here Comes the Boom.  “It really builds at the end.”  OK maybe just me.

“I blame Reality TV” – that’s my new favorite phrase at work.   (See Duck Dynasty, Honey Boo Boo and Real Housewives of _______  references above).

Ok and while I’m on the topic of Reality TV – What happened to TLC?  It’s supposed to be The Learning Channel implying that you will learn something by watching. Now it is home to Honey Boo Boo which is a spin-off of Toddlers and Tiera’s.  If you’re not ready to “redneckognize” you can tune in to multiple shows about Gypsies, Amish and Little People.  As much as I dislike the reality TV mentioned above TLC is home to What Not to Wear – which I think more people should watch (see above ref PJ’s and bikinis).

Why is the standard snooze button set at 9 minutes?  Is it to improve subtraction skills?  Because instead of snooze being 5 minutes or 10 minutes where I can easily gauge that I need to set my alarm 10 or 5 minutes ahead of when I need to actually get out of bed thereby allowing me to hit snooze once or twice.  Now I have to figure out 9 minutes.  Which is even harder when you’re groggy in the morning and trying to remember if you hit snooze once or twice and trying to figure out if you’re at 9 or 18 minutes behind.

And finally….. my favorite.  SPORTS!!  Why do professional athletes feel the need to pound their chest or puff out their chest and make comments about how great they are when they make a basket, complete a pass or score?  Mostly I’m dogging on the NBA players if you really want to know.  Ok – yes you’re team was down three points and you just sunk a three-point shot to tie the game…. 3 minutes into the 3rd quarter not like with final seconds ticking away.  Yay you!  But really isn’t it a bit much to fist bump your chest and repeat “Who’s the Man?” four or five times?  Here’s a tip:  that’s what you’re paid to do — make baskets.  Next time I go to the bank and the teller deposits my check I’d really like to see her jump up on the counter and pound her chest a few times like Tarzan and yell “I GOT THIS!! WHO’S GOT THIS?? I GOT THIS!!”

OK….. it has been brought to my attention (I love my children) that I wear my pajamas to the bus stop in the morning.  Does that make me a hypocrite?  Technically it’s just across the street at the neighbor’s house – does that count as “in public?”




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