One of my friends loves my vacation blogs. He loves them so much he wanted me to go on the group trip that he and several other of our co-workers take yearly just so I can blog about their escapades. Since I’m unable to attend the trip south I told him I would attempt to virtual blog what may or may not be happening on the trip since I know all of the travelers and have heard stories from their past journeys. Some of the past trips have included stories of puking on a deep sea fishing boat, the song “I’m on a boat,” puking (or was it just near puking?) at a seafood market, the ups and downs involved in attending a clothing optional bar and convincing the one person terrified of sharks to go out in the ocean only to scare her by yelling “SHARK!” once she got about 10 feet out (fear of sharks = Galeophobia). There’s a picture.
No that’s not the picture. But look Kathleen how bad can they be? He’s smiling.
There’s one problem………… They are starting their trip in New Orleans and I’ve never been to New Orleans. So I’m having to use Google Image and the NOLA travel site to conjure up the scenery there – it’s OK they can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true.
So they left Thursday at the crack of dawn. Actually before the crack of dawn and they were using the I-EXIT app the day before to find somewhere to eat breakfast – figuring they would eat around Nashville Tennessee. As all group trips start out I can almost guarantee someone was late arriving at the meeting point. Oh wait that’s just me and my family. And if we’re keeping tabs I’m usually not the last one in my family to arrive – only due to my husband yelling “5 MINUTES!!” when he’s ready to leave which is at least 15 minutes sooner than I’m even thinking about leaving. But ANYWAY I’d lay odds at least one person was late, the person who is most like me in the group and clocks in at work with 1 minute to spare – not naming names. But by my estimates they would have hit Nashville at rush hour which means sitting in bumper to bumper traffic going about 10 miles an hour. I’m wondering if they scrapped the Cracker Barrel for Mickey D’s to make up some time.
Or they stopped at a Krystal. At least one of them (Chad) likes Krystal. I had Krystal one time on the way to Bristol, Tennessee at 2 AM. If you’re not familiar it’s like a White Castle – only not as tasty (and that is assuming you thinks White Castle’s are tasty). My dog – the really smart one I had before the 2 genius’s I have now – turned his nose up at the Krystal burger I offered him after I nearly gagged on mine. Like I said, smart dog.
I’m hoping they got Cracker Barrel because the number of rest stops needed after eating a Krystal would cut significantly into driving time. I know from Facebook they made it to New Orleans and ate at the Margaritaville there. It’s in the French Quarter. So I think Chad has an official Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Passport because I’m pretty sure he’s been to at least 8 of the 20 Margaritaville’s around the US. I was looking on-line at the shirts that they have available there because I know he got a shirt. But in looking at the shirts I’m pretty sure I found the one Bill should have bought. It says “Breathe In. Breathe Out. Move On.” I see him lobbying for that to be our new uniforms. And it matches his glow in the dark yellow hazard shirt that says “Move Along” on the front and “Nothing to see here” on the back.
After Margaritaville they had beinets and coffee at a place called Café du Monde. A) I love beinets and I’m hoping they are bringing back some beinet mix. B) I want to hear Bill say beinet. It’s pronounced kind of like “been yay” and it’s a French pastry. But after a few margarita’s I can see Bill asking for one and when they correct his pronunciation him saying “It’s your menu – spell it however you want to.” (Ok I have to credit Tracy for coming up with that Bill-ism). For that matter I’d love to hear Bill pronouncing anything French. Or just for him to say the sentence “I had Café au Lait and Beinet’s at the Café du Monde.” Maybe picture Eeyore saying it. (Yeah I’m going to be in sooooo much trouble when he gets back).
The next day they went on a cemetery tour. I’m afraid of what might have happened to them on the tour. I have a feeling there might have been voodoo dolls purchased. Or at least someone bought a voodoo doll of Eric’s phone because there have been no further Facebook updates on the trip.
I know as they left New Orleans and headed east on I-10 they were planning on a minor detour to Lamberts Cafe in Foley, Alabama. Now that’s a place I’ve been to. It’s unbelievably good home cooked food with portions big enough for three people on one plate. And if that’s not enough they come around and slop out extra portions of fried okra, black-eyed peas, macaroni, fried potatoes & onions and cabbage. But to top it all off if you want a roll, someone stands at the front of the room and throws it at you. But I’m thinking everyone should have enjoyed it since it meets Bill’s meal requirements: hot, brown and plenty. The list of Bill quotes is long in case you haven’t guessed. I’m hoping they made it there.
Well mostly I think I will have wait for them to get back for the really good stories. Like how many times they tortured Kathleen with the “I’m on a boat” song. Or what might have happened in the French Quarter. I’m wondering exactly how many t-shirts Chad has purchased. See there are too many questions without answers and the funny stories that go along with them.
I really hope they didn’t voodoo doll Eric’s phone! Oh yes and all the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Oh wait……. oops I was supposed to do that before I started. It really doesn’t matter as I’m sure Bill will find a Voodoo doll with my name on it before he returns!
Oh no! They sell voodoo doll instructions on the internet….. and they can’t put anything on the internet if it’s not true. BonJour!