We have a way to go before we get to zombie cat. But stick with me we’ll get there. On the start of any great road trip you need a scavenger hunt list. Our list for the South Carolina trip had 20 items on it with a 100 point bonus for finding a UFO. As we were packing the car B called a UFO. It was disqualified because it was a blimp – why there was a blimp hovering over northern Johnson County at 3pm on a Thursday I can’t explain, but there it was hovering over Red’s Corner. Packed tightly in my sisters Yukon we started for South Carolina being led by “Susan” – my nieces GPS voice. She was named after Susan in Monsters vs. Aliens and technically pronounced “Sooooosan.”
By the time we stopped for dinner we had to disqualify at least half of the items that B, Dawson or Teagan were claiming on their scavenger hunt list. Things like, “no, Wal-Mart does not count as a “historical marker.” At dinner I was describing to B about one of Dawson’s friends’ mom that I had recently met (largely against my will) and how she felt the need to be involved in everything her child did. B’s response was, “Oh a helicopter parent?” I said, “Yes but even more than that.” B said, “So Lifeline?” It was at that moment that I realized that Teagan’s sense of humor and straight-faced one liners comes from her cousin(s) and not me.
My sister’s new Yukon has a DVD player in it which is really cool, if you remember to bring movies. More specifically if you remember to bring the movies in the car where you can access them and not on top of the car in the luggage rack. After we stopped for dinner B found a few choices she had in her bag that was not on top of the car, we settled on The House Bunny staring Anna Farris. There is one part where Anna Farris uses this really deep almost inhuman voice as she says several other characters names and explains she uses this technique to remember people’s names. THAT is the one part of the movie that Teagan remembered for the whole trip and kept using the voice over and over and over again. Which I guess is probably the best part to mimic when we’re watching a movie starring a Playboy Bunny.
Things on the scavenger hunt list we didn’t find on the way down: Gas station attendant who looks like Elvis, gas station with more coolers full of beer than other drinks, a historical marker (a real one as Wal-Mart was disqualified) and Hurricane Evacuation route signs (you have to be travelling north or east to find those). We did find in Somewhereville Tennessee the Wal-Mart where at least 90% of the pictures on the peopleofwalmart.com website come from. It may have actually been in North Carolina, I can’t remember. And as is typical of Teagan as we were about 15 minutes away from our condo she has a bathroom emergency. So we make a quick entrance into a Shell gas station in an exceedingly questionable part of Charleston – the part where the attendant sat was blocked off by bullet proof glass and the houses around it had bars on the windows. The only reason I got out of the car and took her inside was because there were two Citadel Cadets in the parking lot getting gas and I figured they would possibly stop a gunman from entering the Shell – you know military academy and all. PS the Citadel is in a really crap neighborhood.
Soooosan mis-estimates addresses by about 500 feet or better as she told us we had arrived at our condo while we were on a bridge. The bridge with the multiple flashing signs telling us to USE EXTREME CAUTION – but not really explaining why – like is the road going to suddenly implode or are we just watching for wildlife exiting the marsh? EXTREME caution which B pointed out is more serious than just regular caution. We did find our condo which was really pretty nice on the inside however the entire complex was being repaired from some pretty significant storm damage. Although I had talked to Teagan before we left and explained we weren’t staying on the beach she was pouty for at least 24 hours that there wasn’t a beach and the pool for our condo was in the parking lot.
As we were unpacking we met the only other residents of the condo – who happened to be right next door to us – a lady and her small child and dog that was staying there with her sister who owned the condo next to ours. When we left to go to get groceries we met Zombie Cat. Mostly just a normal looking white cat with a kind of creepy sounding meow – at that time though he was just known as “kitty.” There were several grocery store options like Bi-Lo, Harris Teeter (which turns into Harry Feeler after a few beers) and Food Lion but we picked Wal-Mart. I’ve been to a lot of Wal-Mart’s and for the most part they aren’t too bad, you have a few odd sightings here and there and maybe a questionable character here or there but this Wal-Mart was just downright scary. It may have been the creepy guy with the cane and arm cast who came charging for us as we got out of the car – I’m sure wanting a handout – but I didn’t stay long enough to find out as I grabbed Teagans hand and fast-walked to the door.
We survived the Wal-Mart. That’s all I’m going to say about that. It may have just been the timing as we re-visited the Wal-Mart during daylight later in the trip and it wasn’t nearly as bad. Back at the condo Zombie cat (still known at that time as ‘kitty’) was waiting for us with his creepy meow. At our condo there weren’t luggage racks to haul suitcases or groceries there were shopping carts. So we packed up a shopping cart, headed up the elevator to Floor 1 to go to Condo 2A (yeah that caused a problem the first time up) and wheeled our shopping cart into the condo to unload it. Yes, this becomes important later in the trip.
OHHH look….. 1000+ words
This will have to be a 2 part-er! Saturday was our fun day anyway so that’s where we will start part 2.