Electric Slide Fail

It’s electric….

And apparently it has been around since 1976 – I did not know that.  As an entitled 80’s child I wholeheartedly thought that it was something that originated in the 80’s.  Anyway back to my point.  The electric slide is played at bars, weddings, roller rinks, 6th grade dances, Daddy-Daughter dances, fund-raisers etc…. almost daily.  And every time I have been somewhere where the electric slide has been played there is at least one individual on the dance floor who is not sure how to do the dance and is being “taught” by other dancers.  And every time I see someone not knowing how to do it I’m amazed.  Why am I amazed?  First, it is not complicated choreography – however the choreography is copyrighted and I’m at risk of copyright violation for explaining it so I won’t.  Second, how can you be nearly 40 years old and never seen or heard of it?!?!?!

As you can tell, I was at a bar recently and there was a guy who didn’t know how to Electric Slide which started my blog brain rolling.  And this is what I came up with – my awesome new list of “random quotes from a bar.”  Which could also be titled “Things to do at the bar when you are the only sober one – because you volunteered to be the DD.”

Just for fun, I’m not going to set up any of these quotes with the reason why any of them were said just make up your own context.  After all it’s more fun that way.

1)      “It’s all fun and games until some pokes an eye out.”                     

                                 “You’re a doctor it’s OK.”

2)      “I see a guy in a cowboy hat and glitter.”

3)      “I want to drink him under the table.”

                                “You can’t.”

           “Yes I can he’s already drank a bunch.”

                                “No you can’t, He’s a United States Marine and you sing in the church choir.”

4)      “I remember…. You had on that little hat”

                                 “It was a beret… he had on a beret.”

5)      “Dude Luke almost did Princess Leia its kinda gross.”

                                 “It’s only wrong if they do a second time.”

6)      “Your mom is dancing with some guy on the dance floor.”

                                “Yeah I’m not calling him dad he’s younger than me.”

7)      “How does popcorn go stale in an hour?”

                                 “It’s like popcorn at every softball diamond in the United States.”

8)      “Under the table looks like a bad day at Chuckie Cheese.”

9)      “Yeah it seemed like a good idea to go out and rock it out to Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell on the dance floor until you realize it’s a really long song and hard to dance to.”

10)   “Oh my God it tastes like cough medicine!”

 

Well there you have it – a sample of the weird and random and sometimes absolutely hilarious things people say while drinking in a bar that has not been touched by time.  No lies, this bar has not changed in 15 years since I moved away from the town it is in.  Even a lot of the people you see in the bar haven’t changed.  Well sure they have gotten older but it’s still the same crowd.  I guess it’s the quaintness of a small town.  That, and cheap beer and mixed drinks in Dixie cups.  And fresh, stale softball diamond-ish popcorn.

Now – for my public service announcement – PLEASE LEARN HOW TO DO THE ELECTRIC SLIDE.  It’s played at any public function where there is a DJ and it’s not hard to do.  You can even YouTube the dance with the instructions – even though they are in copyright violation and Ric Silver the choreography who claims to have created the dance is suing people for copyright violation for posting the instructions.  But seriously – you don’t want to be “that guy” on the dance floor who is 40 years old trying to learn the Electric slide while intoxicated.  It’s not a pretty site.  Note to my husband… you’re dance skills are improving.  Ish.

****WARNING NOSTALGIC MOMENT AHEAD*** A guy named Chad from North Carolina taught me how to do the Electric Slide when I was 18 and on vacation and we went to a bar in Nassau Bahamas.  In the absence of the DJ having the “Electric Boogie” song he had him play “The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground.  And after dancing for a couple of hours we had to sneak out of the back of the bar when our taxi driver wasn’t looking because he was waiting for us to take us back to our hotel – while doing double shots of Barcardi 151 at the bar.  Yeah my mom’s reading this and is possibly horrified because I’m not sure she knows that while on vacation in the Bahamas my friends and I went to a bar in Nassau in a taxi driven by an alcoholic with a four guys we met earlier that day at the pool .  And this is why my daughter (and possibly my son) will not be allowed to go on a trip with friends.

Boogie oogie-oogie-oogie-oggie….

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2 thoughts on “Electric Slide Fail

  1. “And this is why my daughter (and possibly my son) will not be allowed to go on a trip with friends.”

    And this is why you won’t be told about it for 20 years….

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