Either the stuff they say about global warming is true, or some kind of weird thing has happened to my skin over the past 20ish years. Maybe we really did kill the ozone with all that Aqua Net in the 80’s. I don’t know why but I NEVER used to get sunburned. When I was a little kid I could be out in the sun all day and not even my nose or cheeks would turn pink. The only time I ever remember getting burned was when I was 14 or 15 and we visited my sister when she lived in Colorado. We went to a water park and we were obviously a mile closer to the sun and my nose burned just a little bit. But that was it. Now…… if I don’t go out with SPF 30 I burn. Now that I’m thinking about it, the change happened not too long after Dawson was born. We were in Florida and I basically got sun poisoning which was combined with an allergic reaction to the lotion I was putting on it. Good times!! Anyway — enough history.
So the basic idea here is that on Tuesday we all decided to enjoy a relaxing day at the beach. Our house is 284 steps from the beach according to its owner. So we sprayed ourselves with Coppertone and headed to the beach. Maybe it was the sprayer or the wind direction and velocity or just pure bad karma, but all of us got sprayed unevenly. And the best part is, none of us knew it until way later in the day, and continued to mis-spray all day. So we all have odd lines and stripes of burns and basically look like we were wearing some kind of Lady Gaga designed swim suits. One part of my burn in particular looks like I specifically designed one of my blob cartoons in the middle of it. It’s a cute little white spot with a head and amorphous body right in the middle of a giant sea of red skin. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN???
But before we found out about the sun burns we were still enjoying a nice fun day – partially overcast even – at the beach. 284 steps to the beach and for fun I turned on the pedometer on my phone to count them. But then I forgot and left my pedometer on all day. About 130 we decided we were hungry and decided to take 284 steps back home for lunch. As we arrived in the back of the house Dawson had decided to go meet us at the beach and walked out the front door. 284 steps back to the beach to find out he’s ok with playing soccer in the sand until we get back. 284 steps back to eat lunch. This is where it starts to get good, keep up with the math. As we’re eating lunch Dave gets an alert on his phone that says there is a tornado warning for Hendricks County. Odd. But hey we’re in South Carolina… whoo hoo… it’s beach day. 284 steps back to the beach and (oops!) we both left our phones at the house. We were having fun – then my sister gets out of the ocean and checks her phone and she says there’s a tornado in Plainfield. Of course there is. And the two phones that would have the most information on them are 284 steps away.
So I took off for the house – supplied with the incorrect information from my sisters co-worker who “knows a cop” in Plainfield – that the area by the police station was damaged. 284 steps back to the house to find out that there was only one or two pages on Dave’s phones for runs and the one that was “structural collapse” which would be what they would use for damage from a tornado was at the other end of town. But I’m still frantically searching for the weather channel on our TV – yelling at the TV the whole time. My niece and her fiancé walked in as I was yelling at the TV – just returning from getting their marriage license and not knowing what was going on. So my string of cuss words was making very little sense to them. But a few texts later we found out everything near us was fine and our neighbors said the house was fine.
284 steps back to the beach, plus 4 more beach accesses down as we had moved to meet up with my nieces fiancé’s family. Another hour or so at the beach and back we went to the house to get ready for dinner. Now I did walk a few blocks from where we parked to get to the restaurant and back, but no further than the house to the beach. When we got home I remembered, oh yeah I turned on the pedometer so I checked it. 4.01 miles later the 284 steps to the beach seems irrelevant. And that total was 568 steps short (from the trip after lunch and back).
It always seems that when we travel there is an epic weather event — either near us or back home. Glad this vacation didn’t disappoint.