#mashedpotatoes

Lauren Conrad has a “Friday Favorite” segment on her blog, so I figured if LC does that then maybe AB should do it too.  Problem:  it’s not Friday, it’s Saturday.  Oh well!  Also LC’s favorites tend to be things you can conveniently buy at a store that ironically also sells her clothing….hmmm… odd.

#mashedpotatoes – In typical pre-teen fashion, Teagan was totally devastated when her dad recently started an Instagram account.  This launched her into a rant that went like this “What are you gonna do on Instagram? What is an old guy going to do on Instagram – take pictures of your mashed potatoes and caption it #mashedpotatoes #oldguys #noteeth?”  End rant and cue stomping off.  The worst part is that in typical “bad parent/bad wife” fashion I managed to stifle the laughing fit for most of the rant when she got to the #mashedpotatoes part I lost it.  #comedianintraining

Waterboarding – I can assure everyone who reads this that there has NEVER been a cat in my house so this is purely fictional however I just wanted to illustrate the level of smart ass I deal with every day.  When asking my kids why there bathroom is so messy and why there is a ring in their tub when they don’t take baths?  Without even pausing to think Dawson answered “I’ve been waterboarding cats in there.”  I realize I created this with my non-stop sarcasm however I didn’t fully think through my actions before I created the monster – monster’s  – plural.

Dick & Jane – to celebrate Dawson’s epic failure of his Spanish final Dave and I found Dick and Jane Educational Snack cookies…. English & Spanish version.  Dawson did NOT see the humor in them.  Also moms of preschoolers….. DO NOT BUY THESE COOKIES!!  They taste so bad that Princess didn’t eat them!  Bam, of course, does not let taste get in the way.  In that moment of hilarity in the grocery store I should have read the side panel of the box.  Dick & Jane are real people (hopefully Dick is really Richard or Rick… but whatever) who because Jane is a teacher and Dick is allergic to nuts decided to make healthy organic educational cookies for kids.  Although anything healthy, organic or educational tends to spontaneously combust in my home – If you’re into that they sell them at Meijer or at dickandjanebakingcompany.com.  They also had the States & Capitals, good thing for Teagan we didn’t find them last year.

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Throwback Thursday – I took my daughter shopping Thursday to buy some shorts.  Shorts for a twelve-year-old are not easy to shop for as it seems the current fashion trend is for young girls to wear denim shorts shorter than Daisy Duke ever thought of.  I picked up one pair of shorts and honestly wondered if they were denim bikini bottoms.  All of that aside, while my daughter was in the fitting room desperately trying to make the really cool ones with cuts and rips in them seem longer by buying the next size up (she thinks I was never a teenager), I started looking around the Juniors section.  There were cool matching earring sets, cheap plastic bracelets, t-shirts with all the latest sayings and “in” things, cutesy backpacks that aren’t functional at all and of course pop music videos playing on a giant TV in the dressing area.  I suddenly missed being a teenager.  No real responsibility, thinking that the latest trendy thing was the coolest thing ever until the next trendy thing came along. And although I keep up with most of what’s happening in teenagerville – Teagan had to explain the shirt that said “on fleek.”  On fleek – the quality of being perfect or on point (Urban Dictionary).

Japanese Cherry Blossom – There’s nothing funny here.  I just like Bath & Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom.  I figured LC can tell you her favorite stuff so …. Still looking for endorsements.

Top 10 Songs – So here are my top 10 favorite songs that played on ITunes while I was writing this:

I’m Shipping Up to Boston – Dropkick Murphy’s

Free – Zac Brown Band

I’m a Believer – Neil Diamond

Just Give Me a Reason – Pink

Try – Pink

If You Know What I Mean – Neil Diamond

Imma Be – Black Eyed Peas

Let It Go – Idina Menzel

I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz

I Will Never Let You Know – Clare Bowen & Sam Palladio

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