Mom wouldn’t let me go to Windsor this weekend even though I was clearly on the invitation list. My good pals Vulcan and Candy invited me, they’re Her Majesty’s “dorgis.” Vulcan and Candy are ½ dachshund and ½ corgi and they are the only dogs the Queen has now. I’m pretty sure we’re related, on the dachshund side anyway. But mom said we couldn’t go to England so I had to watch the Royal Wedding on TV. I really wanted to take Killer with me to England to impress her because I think she likes a Husky. Can you imagine me and Killer riding in a horse-drawn carriage through the streets of Windsor? One day…..
The whole reason we couldn’t go was because Teagan was playing a mirror in a play. Mirrors are scary by the way. The other day I was investigating an open closet door and started barking because I found another dog in the closet. Well, I thought there was another dog in the closet. It turns out there was just a mirror that mom forgot about on the floor of the closet. But I mean seriously how crazy would that have been to find a dog as handsome as me locked away in a closet?
Princess thinks she was invited to the Royal Wedding because her name is Princess, but I told her it doesn’t work that way. She argued with me and I let her win because let’s face it she’s bigger than me and kinda scary sometimes. So if she asks, she was totally on the guest list! Then Bam got involved, he said if anyone should have been invited it should have been him because he’s an Olde English Bulldog and Olde English is more British than a dachshund. (Sigh) They just don’t understand what it’s like to be Royalty.
So other than Royal Wedding watching I really haven’t been up to much else lately. It’s nice to go outside and play since its spring. I’m pretty sure there’s still a raccoon living under our mini barn but she’s pretty sneaky and we don’t see her very often. Mom said it’s a good thing because she’s bigger than me. Mom and Dad are getting ready to plant strawberries, peppers and tomatoes. We’ll see how long those last until I get bored and decide to dig them up. Er…. I mean until there is a dangerous tree rat near them and I have to dig them up to save them. I like strawberries, mom dropped one the other day and it was yummy. I guess if I don’t dig up the plant I could just eat the strawberries off the plant…. Hmmm decisions…. decisions.
Well that’s about all for now, I’m going to work on photoshopping myself into some of the pictures from the wedding yesterday. Maybe Killer will still be impressed. At least enough to distract her from the Husky for a while. Maybe the Queen will want me to apply to MI6 that would impress Killer. I could be the next James Bond, I mean my last name is pretty close – Mr. Pickles Baughn, 007.