From the desk of Mr. Pickles, Royal Wedding invitee

British pickles

Mom wouldn’t let me go to Windsor this weekend even though I was clearly on the invitation list. My good pals Vulcan and Candy invited me, they’re Her Majesty’s “dorgis.”  Vulcan and Candy are ½ dachshund and ½ corgi and they are the only dogs the Queen has now.  I’m pretty sure we’re related, on the dachshund side anyway.  But mom said we couldn’t go to England so I had to watch the Royal Wedding on TV.  I really wanted to take Killer with me to England to impress her because I think she likes a Husky.  Can you imagine me and Killer riding in a horse-drawn carriage through the streets of Windsor? One day…..

The whole reason we couldn’t go was because Teagan was playing a mirror in a play. Mirrors are scary by the way.  The other day I was investigating an open closet door and started barking because I found another dog in the closet.  Well, I thought there was another dog in the closet.  It turns out there was just a mirror that mom forgot about on the floor of the closet.  But I mean seriously how crazy would that have been to find a dog as handsome as me locked away in a closet?

Princess thinks she was invited to the Royal Wedding because her name is Princess, but I told her it doesn’t work that way. She argued with me and I let her win because let’s face it she’s bigger than me and kinda scary sometimes.  So if she asks, she was totally on the guest list!  Then Bam got involved, he said if anyone should have been invited it should have been him because he’s an Olde English Bulldog and Olde English is more British than a dachshund.  (Sigh) They just don’t understand what it’s like to be Royalty.

So other than Royal Wedding watching I really haven’t been up to much else lately. It’s nice to go outside and play since its spring.  I’m pretty sure there’s still a raccoon living under our mini barn but she’s pretty sneaky and we don’t see her very often.  Mom said it’s a good thing because she’s bigger than me.  Mom and Dad are getting ready to plant strawberries, peppers and tomatoes.  We’ll see how long those last until I get bored and decide to dig them up.  Er…. I mean until there is a dangerous tree rat near them and I have to dig them up to save them.  I like strawberries, mom dropped one the other day and it was yummy.  I guess if I don’t dig up the plant I could just eat the strawberries off the plant…. Hmmm decisions…. decisions.

Well that’s about all for now, I’m going to work on photoshopping myself into some of the pictures from the wedding yesterday.  Maybe Killer will still be impressed.  At least enough to distract her from the Husky for a while.  Maybe the Queen will want me to apply to MI6 that would impress Killer.  I could be the next James Bond, I mean my last name is pretty close – Mr. Pickles Baughn, 007.

Advertisements

H-Moo-O

I’m opening with possibly the worst “dad joke” ever according to my daughter.  If you don’t know what a “dad joke” is you are a)not a teenager and b)probably a dad guilty of making them.  A “dad joke” is an incredibly cheesy or dumb joke made by a dad to his kids.  Dave decided to be nice and make pancakes for Teagan yesterday morning because when asked who made better pancakes, mom or dad, she said dad.  He was busy mixing and stirring and pouring on the griddle and the pancakes puffed up quickly and he mentioned that seemed odd.  I pointed out that with the pancake mix he used you were supposed to use water not milk.  He then declared he had used “H-moo-O” which sent Teagan reeling with groans and eye rolls about bad dad jokes.  The pancakes were very fluffy and delicious though and she was really happy he added chocolate chips which is why I think he got voted best pancake maker.

And that…. Has absolutely nothing to do with my blog today.  But it was a fun opener.  Also be warned there are a lot of pictures ahead!

I decided yesterday to clean out a few drawers and the weird bookcase/hutch that I throw everything in and on top of.  Midway through when Teagan saw that I was reorganizing pictures and photo albums she came in and sat on the floor with me.  Of course, it was more than just rearranging or re-organizing once she got involved we had to open all the photo albums.  And then we found my mom’s scrap-book.  Which was weird because it wasn’t like a scrap book she had kept over the years it was like she had found a box of letters, cards and newspaper clippings and put them all in an old binder one day.  It started in 1980 and one of the last things in it was a newspaper article from when my nephew deployed to Afghanistan in 2003.  Some of the cartoons and articles she clipped were hilarious and we laughed a lot.

Teagan found the photo album I kept when I was growing up which included pictures of me when I attempted Horse and Pony 4-H, cheerleading, my friends from high school and middle school, a vacation to Colorado to visit my sister and my graduation.  One weird thing I noticed, was that in 2 or 3 different pictures in that album my mom had a cast on her arm.  I remember the last time she broke her arm because I took her to the hospital and that was maybe 10 years ago, but I don’t remember her breaking her arm when I was in high school or middle school.  Teagan got bored with that album though.

And she found some of our vacation albums.  She opened one from when we went to the beach when she was 5 and there was a picture of Dawson in a chair and she said, “He stayed in that stupid blue chair the whole vacation!” IMG_2867

Apparently, the chair had been a bone of contention for them.  I asked her if that was all she remembered from the vacation and she said yes.  Two pages later was a picture of Dawson and she said, “Look! He’s still in the chair!”  Then she found pictures of when we went to the beach when she was a maybe 1 or 2 and there was a picture of me holding her in the pool.  “You used to bounce up and down in the water and say bouncy…. bouncy…. bouncy!”  I have no idea if she really remembers that or not but that’s what we used to do so she wouldn’t cry in the pool.

There were pictures from vacations, amusement parks, sports, school stuff, weddings…. Teagan did not enjoy our wedding album.  She mostly was concerned with the mustaches that Dave and his groomsmen Tony and Scott had.  They were very 90’s fireman style – that’s all I’m going to say. IMG_2856

Sometimes she would have to ask who someone was and she was sometimes surprised by the answer because they look different now.  And she would often find a picture of herself and ask if she still looks like that and she’d try to mimic the look she had in the picture.   She also said she was cute AF (Insert eye roll).

Some thinks I learned as I was packing everything back in place:

  • I take, and have always taken, A LOT of pictures
  • I’m glad I take them because it’s fun to look back and remember – even pictures of my mom which are bittersweet because I miss her
  • My mom had a crazy sense of humor that reminds me of someone – oh yeah me (and Teagan… and Sara… and B)
  • People change a lot over the years – Teagan was particularly impressed with the amount of hairstyles my sister Kim has had over the years – her favorite:IMG_2862
  • Even the crazy vacations with all their calamities are totally worth it because they are filled with memories that even a 2-year-old remembers
  • Dad’s overall get a bad rap – dad jokes, dad mustache…..

I know I drive my loved ones crazy with picture-taking, but I think it’s totally worth it! IMG_2850

I found two really awesome pictures: one of my mom and me from my wedding  and one of my grandma and me from my graduation (Teagan thought Nana looked really pretty) that I think I will share since Mother’s Day is coming up soon.

Thanks for indulging my trip down memory lane….. I mean how often do you get to spend a Saturday night with your 15-year-old looking at old pictures?

No worries…. Mr. Pickles is itching to get back to blogging and he has some thoughts on ice cream, musical theater and becoming a Jedi.