I always say I love to travel. I have a fuzzy memory of what was likely my first vacation. I was about 4 or 5 years old and we took a train to Florida. It may have even been to Walt Disney World, but I don’t remember anything about it except: I got sick on orange juice on the train and the blanket I had was scratchy. I think that explains a lot about me – I was destined to write about the calamities of travel.
I thought long and hard about how to document the latest travel adventure and I even tried writing a few times while still on vacation. I’m going to start on day one, but in reverse order:
1:45 AM Prattville, AL
We are all exhausted and finally tucked in our cozy beds at the Hampton Inn so you would think all you would hear is “zzzzz” – however what you heard was Dave laughing hysterically. Like uncontrollable hysterical laughter which triggered all of us to start laughing. When he could finally talk and explain what had got him started laughing it was an earlier conversation about a fart – not even a recent fart or even a fart that occurred on this trip. I vaguely remember Teagan saying something about “smells like regret and shame,” before I fell asleep.
1:01 AM Prattville, AL
Finally arrived at the Hampton Inn – the one that I chose ahead of time so that we would avoid not being able to find a hotel due to a convention, or sporting event, or that fact that it’s Spring Break and thousands of people are travelling. The sliding doors are locked, not a good sign. Ring the bell. Someone lets me in. The first sign that there was a problem should have been the stacks of paper lining the welcome desk. Amanda (she had a name tag) looked nervous, second sign of a looming problem. Good news – she did see our reservation. Bad news – she had one computer tied up running some report and the other was doing a virus scan. There was a lot of scurrying between computers, a lot of lamenting because she was new and by herself and unsure what to do with the computer. I have since figured out what the problem was, she had already counted us as a “no show” and the computer had cancelled our room. She did call someone to help her and somehow she got us our room back (fast forward: she did not – she just booked and charged us for another room). Another gentleman came in he smelled like alcohol or maybe he just recently sprayed AXE cologne, not sure. He looked familiar-ish. As she was waiting for the computer to perform some miracle to get me my room she helped him on the other computer and in 2 minutes he had a room. He recognized our car from travelling (Elmo stands out a bit), he was from Indiana too and we both commented on the terrible traffic in Kentucky. I think I went to high school with him, his name was unique and I went to high school with someone with that name. He went out got his kids and suitcases and went to his room. I’m still standing at the desk. I looked him up on Facebook while I waited, still not sure if it’s the guy I went to high school with. Back to Amanda and the check-in debacle. Before the maybe my high school alum came in I had swiped my credit card. She then explained it didn’t go though and she had to run it again. NEVER let anyone at a hotel convince you to do this. She ran it again and explained the rate was wrong; $25 higher than the room I booked but she was leaving a post it note for the manager to change the rate in the morning before we checked out. Great …. At this point I’m about to scoot two of the breakfast area chairs together to make a bed, can I please have a room key? I was nice. Don’t laugh …. I was. Frankly I was too exhausted to be anything but nice. Although my son insists you can see the complete level of irritation by my facial expression. And it’s not my fault that Amanda was a nervous wreck before I walked in the door, I’m guessing she had done several other things wrong that night – I mean there was a ream of paper in 4 or 5 alternating stacks with post it notes everywhere all over the front desk. Yay! Keys to room #208… Success and it only took 34 minutes.
Midnight-ish, Clanton, AL
Stopped to get gas….. Again. $20 fill ups – yay! 12.7 gallon gas tank – not so yay! We pulled into a Chevron, because it was the easiest access off the interstate. There was a guy in a tan colored SUV sort of blocking the front door. The BMW guy next to us seemed to be having some issues and started to walk toward the door; about that time Dave swiped his credit card to get gas. The guy in the tan colored SUV in some form of a security guard uniform stopped the BMW guy from going inside and told him the pumps are down and the store is closed. So … maybe block the entrance to the gas station and stop people before they swipe their card. Helpful Hank did direct us to the Love’s truck stop on the other side of the overpass where we met up with BMW guy again. But because Dave’s card was still “open” on the other gas pump when he tried to get gas at this pump it locked his card. Yay, we can’t fix that until Monday. We took a trip back to the Chevron to make sure that the pump wasn’t still “open” – Helpful Hank was gone though. I mean who else would stop to get gas after midnight in middle of nowhere Alabama?
Unknown Time – Nashville, TN
Traffic was ok, but you still have to pay attention to the signs because in Nashville you can take 5 different interstates in 5 different directions and you really have to pay attention to stay on I65 southbound.
Unknown Time – Bowling Green, KY
We gained an hour as we crossed into Central Standard Time. Oddly it doesn’t seem like it helped us! We hit stop and go traffic all the way to Bowling Green, after Bowling Green the highway split into two divided lanes and we got behind someone who thought 50 mph was a great speed.
6:42 pm – Lebanon Junction, KY
Traffic had started to pick up but then stalled again. We opted to get off and go to the best truck stop McDonalds ever. No, that’s not sarcastic, it’s a great McDonalds. At this point I realized that it was too late to call the pre-determined hotel in Alabama and cancel because it’s after 6pm. We were still 6 hours away. The time change didn’t factor into my brain at that time.
6:08 pm – Louisville, just north of the airport
Ring – Ring, hi it’s the kennel (aka all-inclusive puppy dog spa and resort) and Princess has cut her foot and will probably need stitches. OK. I knew I checked the health care insurance box for a reason. They texted me pictures, we decided to bandage her up and wait until the morning to avoid the after hour vet fees.
4:48 pm – Indiana/Kentucky state line
Rush hour in Louisville. There are no words. Two lane bumper to bumper traffic, then on the other side of the bridge three lane bumper to bumper traffic. There was the option of the 264/265 circle around the city but it was backed up too because it’s the way to go around the new Toll bridge. We were going 2 mph.
2:48 pm – Plainfield, IN
We’re on the road! Finally! Only 2 hours and 18 minutes behind schedule.
2:30 pm – Plainfield, IN
Return from the kennel in Snowbelle and she is completely overheated and leaking antifreeze. Sigh. Park her in the garage and deal with it when we get back.
1:15pm – Plainfield, IN
Pack 3 dogs in Snowbelle and pick a child to assist you in taking them to the kennel. Dawson got the short end of the stick. At the kennel, I gave him Bam and Pickles and they ran him into a post. Bam snapped at the girl trying to put his ID tag on. Not sure why she works at a kennel because she’s not a dog person and turned into a complete bitch and made me put his ID tag on and made Dawson take him back and put him in the kennel and made the other girl that was working do all our paperwork. He only snaps at mean people he doesn’t like…. OK he just doesn’t like people and snaps at pretty much everyone. Snaps not bites. Pickles escaped briefly but he was contained. I hesitated, but decided to check the box to agree to pay an extra $10 per dog for insurance in case one of them got injured or sick.
12:30 pm – Plainfield, IN
Elmo’s new roof rack and super expensive luggage cross bars are installed and ready to pack. Start loading suitcases, and bags and snacks. All packed up and…. Oh yeah there are three dogs staring at us wondering where they are going to ride. Crap.
12:00 pm – Plainfield, IN
Officially clocked out and ready to go. Elmo’s new roof rack was not. It’s complicated.
10:30 am – Plainfield, IN
Dave went to Westgate Jeep/Chrysler to purchase super expensive Jeep brand luggage rack cross bars that fit Elmo because he’s a Jeep…. And they’re unique. Of course.
9:30 am – Plainfield, IN
The luggage cross bars that Dave has been struggling with since 8:30 will not fit Elmo. Begin search to find ones that will fit. Of course the only thing that fit’s is specially made by Jeep. Translation $$$$$.
8:00 am – Plainfield, IN
Clock in for 4 hours of work. Dave purchasing cross bars and roof rack to put on top of Elmo. And Mickey D’s coffee. He loves me.
7:30 am – Plainfield, IN
Wake up. Happy day we’re leaving for vacation!! Plan for the morning: Dave is going to purchase and install the cross bars and roof rack needed so we can put luggage on top of Elmo, then take the dogs to the kennel (aka all-inclusive puppy dog resort and spa) in Snowbelle (Dawson renamed her but I don’t remember the name he picked – neither does he). Pack up and be on the road at 12:30pm and drive 8 hours to Prattville, AL.
Here’s to scratchy blankets and getting sick on orange juice. I love to travel. I’m almost sure I do.